I had never held two pounds of stainless steel penis. But ever since sex worker and educator Stevie Balkon told me that her desert island toy would be this steel dildo, I’ve been dreaming about bringing a metallic, Matrix-worthy vibrator into my collection. Even my horniest friend swore by the power of steel toys when it came to targeting their G-spot with the right amount of pressure, and credited their steel wand as the secret to squirting.
I found plenty of rad, metallic butt plugs and dildos [Njoy enters the chat] online, but I had never found a vibrating steel dildo. Which seemed… odd? How could we live in a world where far-niche glories such as the Vajankle existed, and a vibrating metal rod didn’t? It would be another year until my quest came to an end with the launch of Capo, the first-ever stainless steel vibrating dildo: Vaginas
Capo comes to us not from Mount Olympus, but the godly hands of L’Acier, which means “steel” in French. The sexual wellness brand launched a collection of three stainless steel vibrators—an anal plug, a beaded wand, and a dildo—that are the stuff heavy metal dreams are made of.
I’ve seen and felt a lot of beautiful dildos in my days, but would the combination of Capo’s material and vibrator component be a game-changer for my orgasms? Would it feel like dropping a cinder block in my vagina, or would it bring on the kind of resoundingly deep, gratifying pressure in all the right places? Uncork the lube, and let’s find out.
Unboxing Capo is like unsheathing a sword. Not only does the material feel luxurious, but the dildo comes in a very chic box with simple instructions and two different handles for use; one is a basic hook handle, and the other is a larger, angled handle for even easier vaginal self-penetration.
There are a lot of benefits to non-silicone sex toys. They’re ready for temperature play, and won’t be as germ-prone when cleaned correctly with a little soap and water because their material is far less porous than silicone. (They’re also safe for use with all kinds of lubes.) I didn’t want to feel like I was boning an icicle, so I boiled up some water and poured it over my dildo until it felt warm, smooth, and impossibly hard. I know that’s very Stephanie Meyer of me to say, but that’s the sick thing about Capo: it’s the kind of sex toy that effortlessly bridgeses the tastes of W.A.S.P. metalheads, vampiresexuals, Classics professors who want to bone Odysseus, and BDSM sub/doms.
I felt like I was in the horny 80s version of Dr. Caligari once I slid it in—but was it in? I wasn’t used to having a dildo with a little more weight to it. I know I mentioned a two-pound weight, but I’m not actually sure how much Capo weighs. Maybe as much as a large jar of pickles? I never work out, but even I could lift it easily.
There was a split second where I wondered if I was at full insertion, and I didn’t feel like I had the best control over this slippery, vibrating eel. Things went a lot better once I swapped the smaller hook for the larger angled handle, which gave me the perfect amount of 45-degree torque to stimulate my G-spot as it has legit never been stimulated before (and even squirt, which is a cool if not mysterious party trick). I swung it in and out, Pit and the Pendulum style, which stimulated both my clitoris and G-spot with the force of three hands instead of one.
Forgive the metaphor overkill, but it felt like getting smashed by a horny viking with a medieval ramrod in the best way.
Capo isn’t crazy heavy, but it’s maybe not the easiest toy to use if you have joint or mobility issues. It’s also a bit pricey at $159, but L’Acier also has the option of paying for it in installments of $39, which is rad. It’s worth it, IMO, for a sex toy that looks like it was fashioned by the gods to make you squirt, but there are some more affordable (non-vibrating) options out there such as this G-spot wand on Amazon with a 4.6-star average rating:
A lot of sex toys give me orgasms. Only this one will give you laurels. Masturbating with metal might sound hardcore, but it actually offers a pretty easy and almost ethereal spank sesh experience; nothing compares to the feeling deep penetration and G-spot stimulation. Add in the fact that it’s equipped with a rechargeable vibrator, and you’ve got the Tesla of non-plastic dildos in your hands.
Cop a Capo if you’re bored with silicone toys, and want to feel like you’re getting railed by a pro; give one to your sub, your dom, or your best friend’s mom. But don’t sleep on the power of steel.
Capo can be purchased at L’Acier.
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